First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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