Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
