oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
