Define "chronic" masturbator.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I want to be your penis for a week.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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