I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
