I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
