She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
