I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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