Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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