erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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