with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she told me i tasted like america
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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