i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
