Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
