This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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