He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
