I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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