Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
