its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
