try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
