She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
