The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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