do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
