Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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