We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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