Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Quick, to the slutcave!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
