Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You need Xanax blowdarts
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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