It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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