I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
