Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
