After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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