I want to have your abortion
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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