WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
