And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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