Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
