i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
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it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
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I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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