I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
