id be glad to
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
