Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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