I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
