If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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