Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
