Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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