I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
