does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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