you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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