Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
