Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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