i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize