Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize