every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize