We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize