singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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