duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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