just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
