theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
