You made me cry and you don't even care
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just found puke in my bra..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
