Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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