PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize