So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
