What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
