never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
