How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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