Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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