Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
