I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
