i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
