bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
