So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
