vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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