i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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