theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize