I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
